i went to some event and had what i thought shouldve been my last supper. like i was totally ready to die on the new ride that has all the gs (because its cool as hell drinks cherry coke and does drugs) after eating a whole plate (ceramic and all) of barbecue food. shit was intense and i was expect something even more intense like as if that was my death row meal of choice and i was about to the sent to the all in one medieval torture machines (plural)
but then i got to the ride and it was some lame shit. save the previous rides and the one i wont ever go on again (the lame gay blender of death) there was nothing cool there. they took down the fucking ferris wheel thats how dire shit was. who the hell takes down the ferris wheel. thats an insult to all amusement parks and their guests and also the family legacy. youre upsetting your ancestors and unleashing a family curse upon your dynasty. your forebearers will never know fun retroactively and your sperm will come out depressed. your children will probably listen to mcr. anyways basically it had none the gs
yes thats right not a single buddy online or otherwise
shit was lonelier than the highest, most terminally online internet addict. the g count was so low it was fixing peoples broken necks like a fucking miracle. shit was so low you could connect to hells wifi (miserably slow but still existent). like all the big boy rides (that arent the lame gay blender of death) were able to reach so far up and had so many gs i legit got an internet connection AND mobile data so like what the fuck
all you did was go on a plane that can go up and down really slowly. wheres the threat. wheres the enticement. the thrill. so i was stuck on this dumpass thing pretending to have fun (the opposite of keeping a poker face) as i felt a hollowness inside that rivals the empty abyss found in the place of the soul of hello kitty girls that random edgy teenagers claim to have
like hey if you could at the very least crash into the wtc itd be cool. like itd be a fucking history lesson for all of the mericans that somehow werent born with the knowledge of 9/11 or that werent even born anywhere near the usa (merica)
to be fair the big boy rides kind of suck after you go in them for like what the eighth time. you look up to them as a kid and go like "holy shit i want to enter the torment nexus" and then you enter the torment nexus and its just a regular torture chamber instead. what the fuck. like yeah its still a torture chamber but gee louise maybe i get sick of the piranhas and want to gun for some honey slathering and ants. maybe with some lasers. lasers are sick. but i didnt really have to pretend i was totally enjoying it since my "friends" (temporary acquaintances) were too busy being excited and/or terrified to be able to tell
regardless the food was fucking great. though i have some regrets since there was a sushi place right fucking there. still ate good shit for free (as far as im concerned as i didnt pay) so sick dick am i right
Banger.
ReplyDelete