groups

so i think its time to talk about the imminent ticking time bomb of soon to be unrelated twitter drama infiltration that is friend groups of any sort but most especially the online kind, or any that involve someone terminally ill. i mean terminally online. actually those are definitely synonyms. like for example look at me im wicked sick. someone should really call an ambulance and take me to the infermary pronto otherwise i might break out in rap hives with a touch of musical rabies. its a double strain or what the fuck ever and a superbug in the lame systems. the bastion of coolness in this chud baka world. its already gotten to everyone in my nearest vicinity that isnt an absolute dweeb (those have resistance) and made them really want to rap and draw me and do ironic things. i guess this illness is on the side of my beautiful religion, named ironism. of course that probably exists but im going to trademark it first so fuck you. ironism™. by the way you can make the trademark sign by pressing alt then 0 1 5 3 on the numpad. i have that memorized for ironic purposes
groups really like always suck. unless the whole team locks the fuck in everyones scurrying around without saying a single word. and by scurrying around i mean being on their phones while doing jack shit, because everythings going to be left to be done last minute anyways. i mean like its so fucking plainly obvious nobody tends to collaborate and i got picked last for whatever reason (probably too awesome for everyone) when i was in school despite being the best at everything (especially presentations). like HOLY crepe you havent seen anyone present as presently as me
plus its damn hard to get in on things when you arent already a groupie. its kind of like trying to get in on the "in joke" while all the jokes you have reserved for yourself are "out" jokes. at that point why not just head on out with a burlap sack or some picnic cloth tied to a stick containing only the most bare of belongings. then you can go on an epick journey to the west to find your inner self after encountering some kind of monastery wherein you shave your head bald and become all the worlds virtues
of course, im quite the friend group infiltrator. im fact im the friend group starter. im obviously not the glue im just the heat that excites the people and makes reactions happen more often. of course things can get TOO hot to handle but theyre usually not too hot to handle for me because im too cool and that balances things out severely
its like with all the cold laden wastes ive been in right. i show up and people love me and then we all fuck off to nayway in order to do our own nefarious little schemes. this is actually how every insular community works they always split off into someplace where you can have like triple the niche homoerotic friendships without even people those peoples friends. its just because the bond made from the insularism is something beyond friendship. i wouldnt say friendship squared though
and its also like an echo chamber right. but not really, since you learn all the dogshit opinions of your peers. and probably still love them for those after a discussion more heated than it shouldve been. but thats ok because everyone forgets about it in two days and everyones buddy buddy again and already back to shipping you with a guy because every dynamic you have is extremely intense. such is the effect of being drumrolls please a hope player. yes thats right im a knight of dope suckers. that means im awesome and my awesomeness benefits me or something. like i wield memes and crap. yeah i do that. and its why i always bet one thousand trillion dollards that everyone i know is attracted to me is in fact attracted to me. these people havent even seen my greek demigodesque face yet and theyre already heels over head for me. again not head over heels because thats the default state DUMPASS. christ on a hike on the nollywood sign to get to the other side. anyways you should watch sbahj the moive
go into the link. be the irony






https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAg2HGPrjWs

masterchef

 im the foundation of dreams

cup of desires, ruler of the streams

fire flows through me in a way with no (measure, measure)

holding up through the lows for my own (pleasure, pleasure)

holding up the ideal

warrior to the seams

and if you ask me

for what purpose must i bleed 

deep, primal need

into a senseless dance

just follow my lead

lets run out and take to the street 

bada bing boom boom, big bang

out here making big bank

ha, shing unseathe and shang-

cut!

vroom, zoom, tokyo drift 

drive!

crashing into your head

(feel alive!)

ringing all the bells, cling clang

reverberate like ying n yang

swallowing up bullets of lead

love and hate me, ill make you mad

spin you dizzy and catch you when youre sad

turn you queasy, paint you red

im the worlds most wanted man

they want my head

eyes on me

a bunch of unthinkables ill make you believe

ill have you on your knees 

pleading to stay, and for me not to leave

then i will hold you to (tension, tension)

hey, man of your dreams here

may i have your (attention, attention)

hey, did you hear me

or do i have to make the suggestive (intentional, intentional)

bada bing boom boom big bang

out here making big bank

ha, shing unseathe and shang- 

cut!

have a slice of tension

itll help wonders for retention 

may your pulse have your attention

i make your heart beat, thats intentional

taking it to my own hands

making use of my allure 

striking body bathing in a gory crimson red

going for the kill

dont i look a tad good in the glory of the thrill

pack you up with adrenaline 

salted and heated, ready to be served

compliments to the chef would be deserved

but goddamm the fans are voracious

they want me for dessert

need their dopamine, and my tenacious spicy nerve

have my effort dripping into the chalice

everyones desperate for a lick

and then you whine about it so i give you a golden wine kick

drink it up, drink it up

flood the boundaries until it overfills

grasp at straws until you make it up the hills 

combat your thirst with the molten ichor pills

bada bing bada boom, big bang

out there making big bank

ha, shing unseathe and shang- 

cut!

cats out of the bag

whether win or lose

its certain the truths come up loose

while everyones dealing with the aftermath of words so nuclear

coolguys dont look at explosions

putting on my shades, victory in slow motion 

already made you feel motivation beyond

 measure

youre one of my trophies 

this whole dealie was for my own pleasure

carboniferocity

 here i am speaking from the carboniferous period. you can tell because it vaguely resembles australia, the spatial period where bugs increase in size endlessly because its an anomaly that should get contained. the scp foundation should really get on that shit. and whats up with that forgettable landmass just beneath it. does anything even ever happen over there or it just like a collective hallucination were all having. i havent heard of anything ever since the laser kiwis situation

either way here when there are three seasons: summer, fall and bug hell. bug hell actually happens at the same time as summer, which also happens all of the time. fall is just when the leaves fall or something but thats impossible because everythings here rising including the 8 feet long centipede and 12 inch dragonfly 

ok actually. dragonflies are really fucking cool. theyre literally dragons and they eat mosquito eggs and mosquito babies. they also eat flies and shit. but nevertheless they dont eat them fast enough, because i hear the constant nonstop high pitched buzzing of a mosquito somewhere in my room thats probably in the mirror worlds void because these fuckers are notoriously hard to find. sometimes theyre just chilling there on the wall, which is surprisingly not a prime location for them to be squashed but solely because that dirties the wall permanently and insects are too stupid to comprehend they shouldnt enter a room full of dead maimed bodies of insects. in fact that would call more insects in

flies are terrible too. the big ones are usually okay enough even if kind of loud and gross but the small ones have the survival instincts of like, a baby fly or something. goddamn fireworks are better at thriving in nature than them. the only redeeming factor is their numbers, which is not so redeeming for anything that has to deal with them. and fireflies being cool. its unfortunate they already have an excuse to stay alive and in the environment though, unlike mosquitoes like commented on in the big blogpost about like i dont know the ozympics or some other crap. i forgot 

man why is it that bugs are so ugly. i know mother nature doesnt think at all when creating things that arent me, perfection that i am, but still. even the cutest ones are downright horrendous if you just zoom in because theyre all fuzzy for some reason. why are they fuzzy. they shouldnt be fuzzy. ok bees can be fuzzy and cute but i dont find them cute. i still dont care though because theyre good for the environment and produce that thing that goes on my waffles. bee puke is too tasty for me to care about anything and also i will advocate for them more because they mean i have an easier time arguing for those mosquitoes to be crossed out from the gene pool. no longer invited to the alive club and all. come on the viruses arent either and theyre doing just fine

though ps (pduring scriptum or problem sleuth) that diseases are fundamentally dumb. how did those evolve. they should be gone. like i know some serve a function but what exactly is the point of something exclusively made to make its only way of survival extremely miserable and then dead, just to move onto the next. hell parasites know better than that. this is why the black death died. it was too good at killing. call yourself that in the case you ever get banned or kicked from a match because your kd ratio is too high 

also did you hear about those frozen diseases from like millennia ago. or i guess right now because were in the carboniferous. thats when fossilizing started actually happening because of plant powers right. thats why its so fucked up vegans hate plants. or maybe its a good thing because more plant bodies means more fossils. i think that whats up with algae

i dont actually believe anything would happen if you contracted one. they probably would uneventfully die in your body. people play then up as like a global threat but if you think about it for a second its kind of like somehow getting youareanidiot on your windows 12 computer, which will be more virus than not already and the many preinstalled spyadmalware superbugs will eat up the weakest link and thats how windows defender will work. other than by an ai antivirus that probably registers every system file as one and deletes them every week like a game of system failure russian roulette. might even be the nervous system 64 of your biocomputer that can feel suffering, prototype of the torment nexus from dont build the torment nexus. corporations were raving about that one. there also will be the mandatory retrobait, complementary with words such as "tealt" and "hitherto" and "obey" and "cease reproduction" and "all of your files are belong to us" and "you got mail", which should have never gone into disuse. what happens when that happens is usually that you have to really mandulge in making a new word for a concept that shouldve already existed and probably did. but you wouldnt know because olden words are spelled weird and the brainchip you have preinstalled in you shoved ads in your face since you were a wee baby, prompting you to stick branded forks in electrical sockets and eat trademarked asbestos instead. great survival instinct since the lead and microplastic ppm in your bloodstream will look cooler the higher it is. though this vintage addiction wont stop the boner megacorps have for the wheel of change that crushes and kills everyone, so theyll probably profit off of randomly generated humor by making people dumb and cringe enough to laugh at it. like somehow people will eventually find the number "67" funny in a way thats the nail on chalkboard version of "69" and start using appropriated worsened aave pop culture cesspool slang and call people "sigmabidi sussy". i am very genocides about this. humor shouldnt evolve in this way. i know i preach that its subjective and irony comes in many forms but it also just simply has no substance nowadays and faradays (thats a quantity dipchin) but mlg and rage comics got massacred by the quarantine then their still spazzing dead gift horse got beat in the mouth by whatever came through with generation alpha, which will probably eventually all die out except for two people in a flooded planet

and the bugs will still be there

this post has been partially dedicated to my fans. shoutouts to cloun and blender. or wait was cloun the word for cloud. maybe they both mean the same thing and its word convergent evolution. what the fuck ever. sick dick i have a fanbase