it wasnt that good
2/5 skateboarders honestly. by the way a skateboarder is worth one florino
its like extremely funcky and only a real fuckass would want enough weirdoses to actually acclimate to this shit
like a wine snobs "acquired taste" (they still cant tell 4000 year old mesopotamian wine straight from uruk apart from kiddies grape juice) these cherries were handpicked from the himalayas or some shit. ancient tibetan monks danced on this shit. napoleon pissed on THESE cherries and thats why theyre so exotic and you should be grateful that your tongues being assaulted by several "fuck this shit" tastes and cherry coke is as good as coke before it got rid of the cocaine
honestly other cherry products kind of suck ass too unless theyre candy. the best part of eating a cherry isnt the succulent diabetic first bite but the middle of the bite before the taste all suddenly falls off at once like a piano dropped on an unsuspecting bystander hitting all of its keys. what im saying is the suspense of the shadow is the best part
like ok
its the goldilocks cherry zone
then we have the drinks. i drank a cherry milkshake and it was just ok at best. though there were cherry bits inside of it and every single sip was like getting just that first drink of cherry, complete with the fuckass "zany cherry" experience
like seriously those cherries were advertised to be a bit bitter so i thought like theyd be good. no they sucked at the thirty secondth cherry bit i had because it was just constant sickly sweet
im surprised i didnt have pink diarrhea afterwards
also i tried cherry gelatin (the jiggly shit, shitass) and it was ok. not flavorful enough but better than whatever the fuck the other shit was. i did have diarrhea after consuming the whole kilo of it though. if it was made into juice itd be better itd be perfect actually
like that shits incredibly diluted. must cherries exist in a perpetual state of too strong or too weak? find out in three seconds as i move onto cherry halls
ok this shit ranks a four on the level scale meaning that the flavor is more of "intense mint" instead of "cherry". i can taste a very little bit of the cherries and its just like worse watermelon halls. who the hell designed this shit. either way if they turned it down to a 1 or 2 itd be awesome
bonus bonus content
ok so i invoke the sacred art of a level two bonus content to say pacific punch is nearly it. its kind of like the cherry juice i mentioned earlier. i have no fucking clue why monster is basically the only curator of completely original flavors that sometimes rule. in fact thats widely disastrous like they took out ultra rosa apparently. of course they only do local discontinuations but that just means you gotta move in order to get your favorite flavors and the most rad of can designs. really taking us back to our nomadic roots there
but seriously dawg. the problems still that the cherry is too strong. its beating the shit out of every other flavor and only the citrusy orange is still alive and it refuses to touch the cherry with a five foot pole. and it wouldnt be able to because of the somersault up to high ground the cherry did to perch ominously silhouetted on a tall fence like someone during their batday about to receive an expired free parents coupon
i think its the answer. tone down the cherry and make it citrusy. and there you have it the peak of cherry juice. or just drink oj instead. the premise of the cherry gelatin is that it was too weak and when in liquid form that made it go into the goldilocks cherry zone because it made it more concentrated and thusly adequately intense
also i tried cherry and chocolate cake once. it sucked because just like all fruitcakes it was a. hitting on me and b. filled with the fruit in question. i dont have to tell you why thats a disaster. you read the cherry milkshake shit didnt you. you better have. also you should read it again
makes me wonder what a propery cherry cake would be like. you know how chocolate cake doesnt have random solid chocolate bits in it. or atleast it shouldnt FUCK those random chocolate bits. theyre so mouth drying and get in the way of the taste. fuck the copious amounts of frosting. its like a whole evolutionary defense mechanism cake got over millions of years. the mouthful of bland that doesnt go away until the cake you bit down into has already been gone for like eight seconds deters would be predators like an unsuspecting cool dude
also i tried cherry gelatin (the jiggly shit, shitass) and it was ok. not flavorful enough but better than whatever the fuck the other shit was. i did have diarrhea after consuming the whole kilo of it though. if it was made into juice itd be better itd be perfect actually
like that shits incredibly diluted. must cherries exist in a perpetual state of too strong or too weak? find out in three seconds as i move onto cherry halls
ok this shit ranks a four on the level scale meaning that the flavor is more of "intense mint" instead of "cherry". i can taste a very little bit of the cherries and its just like worse watermelon halls. who the hell designed this shit. either way if they turned it down to a 1 or 2 itd be awesome
bonus bonus content
ok so i invoke the sacred art of a level two bonus content to say pacific punch is nearly it. its kind of like the cherry juice i mentioned earlier. i have no fucking clue why monster is basically the only curator of completely original flavors that sometimes rule. in fact thats widely disastrous like they took out ultra rosa apparently. of course they only do local discontinuations but that just means you gotta move in order to get your favorite flavors and the most rad of can designs. really taking us back to our nomadic roots there
but seriously dawg. the problems still that the cherry is too strong. its beating the shit out of every other flavor and only the citrusy orange is still alive and it refuses to touch the cherry with a five foot pole. and it wouldnt be able to because of the somersault up to high ground the cherry did to perch ominously silhouetted on a tall fence like someone during their batday about to receive an expired free parents coupon
i think its the answer. tone down the cherry and make it citrusy. and there you have it the peak of cherry juice. or just drink oj instead. the premise of the cherry gelatin is that it was too weak and when in liquid form that made it go into the goldilocks cherry zone because it made it more concentrated and thusly adequately intense
also i tried cherry and chocolate cake once. it sucked because just like all fruitcakes it was a. hitting on me and b. filled with the fruit in question. i dont have to tell you why thats a disaster. you read the cherry milkshake shit didnt you. you better have. also you should read it again
makes me wonder what a propery cherry cake would be like. you know how chocolate cake doesnt have random solid chocolate bits in it. or atleast it shouldnt FUCK those random chocolate bits. theyre so mouth drying and get in the way of the taste. fuck the copious amounts of frosting. its like a whole evolutionary defense mechanism cake got over millions of years. the mouthful of bland that doesnt go away until the cake you bit down into has already been gone for like eight seconds deters would be predators like an unsuspecting cool dude
What flavor of autism is this.
ReplyDeletecherry flavor dipshit can you read
ReplyDeleteUse reply button, idiot.
Deletereal fans of my blogshit dont use the reply button on any content that isnt mine pissant
ReplyDelete