hotshit in the cold laden wastes of dramatown

 ok so ive been through my fair share of shit. and warning beforehand i assume most people have a crush on me by default. they usually do but the confirmed cases are online and i think that heavily biases the data considering the terminally online are gay as hell and constantly horny. seriously at the risk of making this impromptu bonus content for groceryquest2025 i hope my children arent like that. holy shit the new generation is so fucked up. holy shit the generation after is going to be worse. is there even going to be a generation after actually we could all be nuked before then
anyways so basically im a drama magnet. no i dont start the drama that wouldnt be very chill. its just simply that my swag factor is so massive (and you know what else is massive) so people are caught in its gravitational pull and situations are given more gravity. also when you think back all the drama was over some dumb shit
i used to roleplay often. that was before i grew a brain though. i was a creature of instincts. but still very fucking hot. hot enough to melt the winter thats chapping my lips. fuck winter its the worst season of all. who the hell decided to punish humanity with lips that can chap. my lips were so chapped they turned into a man. its fucking terrible. also washing your hands sucks in the cold and waking up does too. thankfully as you know you dont need to be any smarts to be hot as if youre stupid you can still settle for being a jock, a himbo or a decent man. that also applies to women btw you can be whatever the woman equivalent for those are. or even the man equivalents. fuck cares
this resulted in me ending up in several non erotic romantic roleplays. especially those without commitment. of course that was the whole premise of the guy hes not dating anyone he just gets around. the first part of the premise notwithstanding for me now after i grew up
those roleplays resulted in a conflict of interest. of course everyone would want to have me all the time. and im not sure if before or after there were complaints issued and pasts brought up. still i went there and mediated because i felt like it until a certain extent which i dipped at. i knew things were going to fix themselves anyways
yeah i know lots of things. my gut instincts are so sharp they could cut through the tension of the situation to let me relax. in fact my vast intuit has led me to "play god" without the creation of sickass dinosaurs. which translates to obtaining a few very relevant and important pieces of information. my whole methodology was to have a plan and stick to it while fully believing in its success though. after all if you really believe in something it becomes a little more true
disregarding the fact that means im at times stubborn (no im not particularly motivated to do anything most of the time) the confidence still makes me hotter. i know so
and thats why when a group chat was made with me in it i knew shit was going to go down. my grand debut wasnt until a while after but i still had background appearances foreshadowing me entering, which wouldve been rendered in an epic flash format because im that fucking cool
and it did go down. first of all having someone confirmed mentally stable was a bad idea. still that guy deserves friends and shit i guess. but having to haul ass back to base after youre million of blocks deep and just found a perfect replica of some bygone civilization in a world of anarchy is kind of lame. sorry dawg if youre reading this. apologies to everyone involved actually
worst of all was shit immediately collapsed after the sudden realization i had been in a relationship. im not sure whats so freakoutworthy about that but still. one accidental teaspill had collapsed the house of leaves. i tried to rebuild it but found my copeful thoughts stepped on and dismantled. maybe suddenly trampled by a wild rodeo or a herd of buffalo
by the way practically all i did was make sex jokes back then im still not sure how i got into a relationship
but yeah i got lots of flak for existing afterwards. not from most of the members though. i sorta ignored it but it was inadvertently blatant and disruptive. more blatant than some peoples crushes on me, most of which im going to ignore so it doesnt turn awkward. and none of this segment is referring to any "hatecrushes" because i dont seriously believe that

and thats how i met your mother